Well... We just got a call to clear up a question about our income that was on our adoption grant... Jesse had put both our our incomes down on this grant form, but for the form for his school grant, he only puts his income as it indicates on the form. So as you could imagine, they were quite surprised by the 2 different amounts. All is taken care of though - but it was sad because I had to tell them that the school I was teaching at just let me know yesterday that enrollment did not go up, so I wouldn't have a job with them next year. OKAY GOD! A LITTLE SCARY!! Well, when they minus my income from our household income - hopefully that will show more need?? Who knows.
It is a little scary that right now we are living only off of Jesse's income - which is okay, but when we were counting on mine too especially for this adoption and all the costs - it is quite overwhelming. I know that God provides, and it's easy to see Him providing when He is doing it in the way that you expect, but this isn't exactly what we expected. We actually expected that my school's enrollment would go up so that they would need me, which would then bless us in return with my income which we would put towards our adoption, etc.... YIKES! is all I can say. I'm trying to have peace about it. Trying to TRUST HIM and have NO FEAR for fear and worry is not of the Spirit. I sure hate blindly trusting. But, nonetheless, God will provide for us, for our little guy, and for his homecoming!
I pray that our church is able to help us out some with resources that will enable our little man to come home SOON. I have so many days when I just sit and long for him to be here with us. I just feel like a member of our family is missing, because he is. It will be good to have him home with us, for him and little Miss A to play together, and for us all to snuggle up together to say prayers at bedtime. My heart hurts because he's not with us, but I have to trust that God loves him even more than I do, because God does!
So Lord, KISS my little guy's knee when he falls down and hurts it, MAKE FUNNY FACES so he'll laugh, PROVIDE him the meal he needs to keep his little tummy full, HUG him when he's feeling sad, TEACH him to share with his friends, HELP him to be grateful for what he does have, READ him a bedtime story and SAY PRAYERS with him before he goes to sleep, CUDDLE him when he wakes up from a scary dream, WAKE HIM with the hope and joy of YOU, and SQUEEZE HIM TIGHT to tell him that his mommy and daddy and little sister are coming for him soon, LET HIM FEEL LOVE - because Lord, I can't do any of this, so I NEED you to, until I can.
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