Sunday, August 2, 2009

Journeys

I originally started this blog to share our adoption journey and what a journey it has been so far. But, it got me thinking... I love having this blog to talk about our future kid, but I also wanted to include you in our current life: Jesse, myself, and our precious little Adalee!

Jesse and I were talking, and we, well I, must really need to learn how to be a better journey"er." I really hate journeys and am I definitely a destination person. Tell me the destination and then I will enjoy the journey - but not knowing the destination, kills me! However, I have a feeling that God really wants to teach me to trust HIM throughout the entire journey even though I may not have a clear picture of the destination He is leading me to. I can't tell you I'm happy about not being able to see the end result before I get there, but I can tell you that there is freedom in letting go and focusing on today and not tomorrow.

Once Jes and I found out we were expecting, we also found out that both of us were carriers to a terminal genetics disorder, Cystic Fibrosis. There is no Cystic Fibrosis that runs in either of our families and no one knows if they are or are not a carrier - one of my parents is and one of Jesse's parents is - but no one knows who.

It was a very scary pregnancy, not knowing if my little baby would have this disorder (we opted out of the amino test). I didn't want to get to attached to this little one growing in my belly because there was a one if four chance that I would have to bury her sometime in my life on earth. But, when you feel them kicking and moving around in your big belly - you can't help but to love them! We had a great community of support and prayer around us which was so comforting, because when I felt like I couldn't utter another prayer, I knew that there was someone praying that God would spare little Adalee.

When Adalee was born (her name means God is my refuge - which I found myself being reminded of daily - HE is HER, MY, OUR refuge) she was so perfect - not knowing yet if she had the disorder or not - I fell in love again with her! I didn't care if she did or didn't, I just cared that I was holding my baby who was prayed over for so long, in my arms. They took the blood work and 2 weeks later, we found out that she did not have Cystic Fibrosis.

My husband shared our good news at our leadership meeting at church, with about 500 people, and I knew what it meant THEN when people said that they would carry our burden with us. The whole room was silent as Jesse was speaking, and then you heard a huge verbal SIGH of relief - it sounded like 500 people were able to breath again! That was the exact response I had when our doctor called us, I had rediscovered my lungs and I heard the whole room at church do the same thing. It was THEN I was reminded of how much we are loved by our community.

It's hard to believe that our little miracle, our healthy baby girl, will soon be a toddler, on August 26, 2009! (Not to be confused to when we're celebrating - August 22!)

However, it's not the scary journey of the possible Cystic Fibrosis that led us to adopt. Any child we have through birth will have the same 1 in 4 possibility of having CF. But hear me when I say, they are two totally unrelated issues! I talk about our call to adopt in our first post. I feel God has called us to be a family to an orphan, but I don't believe He has called us NOT to have another. Right now, I don't know if He has called us to have another biologically - but I know if He does call us to create human life, He is in charge, and we TRUST HIM with all life: ours', our daughter's, our new kiddo in Ghana, and any future children we may have through birth or adoption. God is SO good and He is WORTHY of our trust!

Here are a couple of recent pictures we took of Adalee!




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