Monday, June 7, 2010

April 12, 2010

Dear family and friends!

We're now in Bolgatonga, the place where we will have court. Haha...what an interesting journey to get here. Some of this has felt like I'm on the Amazing Race from the crazy first bus ride to Kamasi to then wait for a bus to Bolgatonga, to the peeing in a shower like stall with no ventalation or anything to catch your pee - literally, you went on the ground while standing in other's urine (I would call this my road block if I were on the amazing race) The things we do for our children! We're very spoiled Americans. On the bus to Bolgatonga rode with us about 80 Ghanaian people, chickens - live and clucking, boxes, mattresses,etc. Let me remind you that this bus was like a school bus - not nice, no ac, and when Ghanaians get hot and bothered with someone - they yell! So, very very loud at some parts on this 8 hour bus trip. BUT, remarkably, Sammy did wonderful - just sat there and slept or played with some books Nana and Pops got him, or stacking cups that we brought along. The difference in American kids and Ghanaian kids... (or maybe just my two - I don't think Adalee would have sat there all quiet for the 13 hour total bus ride??)

Now Sammy is understanding more of whom exactly we are. At first I think he just thought we were special visitors that he has been waiting on, coming to show him special attention - but now, he's kind of "over it." I'm so glad his foster dad, Paul, is also with us - it's helping with the transition A LOT. Sammy's attachment to me seems so flawless and wonderful - he calls me mama and only wants me over everyone else, except Paul - he likes us both equally. However, his attachment with Jesse has taken a turn. We were fully aware that this would happen (probably) and kind of wanted it to - because it would show his HUGE attachment to Paul and that when he gets attached - it's a good one. If Sammy had had no issues with Jes or I and willingly came to both of us and was content with anyone - that's when you begin to wonder if there could be potential attachment issues - "could he ever be attached to ONE mama and daddy." So poor Jesse is taking the "hit for the team." Sammy, starting last night, began to refuse to even be around Jesse - turned his face away from him - cried at the top of his lungs when Jes held him. But, A had explained that there is some "loyalty" issues going on there too. Sammy is really attached to P and he might feel that if he begins to let himself become attached to Jesse, that would mean he would lose his "daddy P." It is really hard on this little boy - so much happening so fast. All that to say, his attachment today was a little better at breakfast. He would let Jesse feed him, he actually sat on his lap, and would share food with his new daddy - and even called him da. (maybe he's holding on to that "ddy" until he's for sure about jes?!)

We met with our attorney yesterday (after not having any sleep for over 40 hours - the fun bus ride experience and waiting time) and I'm sure he thought - those crazy smelly Americans. But, nonetheless was very nice. We will have our case tried on Thursday. Please pray for a morning time - we will not know if the judge will want to see us BEFORE or AFTER his regular cases - we're praying for BEFORE.

I want to thank you SO much for updating me on Adalee - it makes me smile so much to hear that she is doing GREAT! I really do look forward to all those updates! I love hearing updates even if you're not keeping her, but see her. So THANK YOU everyone. God is really giving me peace about being away from her. I'm really learning to trust THIS child with God. I really can't imagine how we would do this trip with her - there's really NO way - from the traveling, to the food, to the 115 degree weather. So, that is giving me a little peace, knowing that even IF we could have brought her, it wouldn't be the best for her.

I love you all so much - and we couldn't do this without your support and prayer. Oh, and another prayer request: Please pray that we (Jes and I, our social worker, agency, lawyer, the other family that we're with) are given wisdom to know if when we leave Bolgatonga if we should also leave Sammy and his foster sister Zoe here as well in foster care. This is a tough decision because it now looks like the kids need to have court where they were born (and now possibly have to reside here as well until the immigration is approved?). We DO NOT want this to be the case, because it can be traumatic for the kids to have ANOTHER set of caretakers (even if only for a month or 2). There is a family willing to take Sammy and Zoe and we'll be able, with our agency to "interview" them... so I guess that's good? But, at the same time, we do not want the embassy to tell us that we did this adoption wrong and now have to try the case all over again and have the kids move up to Bolgatonga and have to come back a 2nd time for court... "Lord, please show us the way."

Love you much,
Brandi

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